20 First Dates – Beginning Anew

This is the very first new post I’ve written. I had thought I would have written many 20 First Dates posts by now – about finding love, starting a new blog that “he” suggested be titled: 20 First Years. Instead, I’m beginning anew, and writing about love, loss, and finding myself, yet again.

I hate that I loved and continue to love you

I hate that I shared so many intimate moments with you 

I love that I embraced myself I love that I learned how to stand up for myself and stop taking your word for it that I was crazy or not medicated enough even if I was never medicated before I met you 

I hate that you twisted things to make me never feel enough I hate that I gave you the power to make me walk on eggshells 

I love that I found myself 

I love that I found a way to say enough 

I wish it wasn’t so late and you hadn’t had time to move on to your next victim 

I hate that to you I wasn’t a once in a lifetime nor even a one in a million but simply one in a long line of a pattern you are doomed to repeat

Prince Charming gets the girl and then stops being charming 

Prince Charming is there to find out what makes you tick and do the things you didn’t even know you needed until you are dependent then despondent when the Charming moniker flees and you are left 

Shattered and gutted and knowing you shouldn’t be because everyone saw through Charming except for you. 

Enough said, for today. Much more, and many more Perspectives, coming soon.